


indefinite

by McKenzie Wheeler (ghostking13), Taeyeong (heybarackitsmejacques)



Series: Nick & Charley [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Character, Budding Love, Charley is trans, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Nick is Trying(TM), Trans Male Character, even though it isn't mentioned, it's okay to not be okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-04-25 01:58:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14368446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostking13/pseuds/McKenzie%20Wheeler, https://archiveofourown.org/users/heybarackitsmejacques/pseuds/Taeyeong
Summary: "You died.""Yeah, well, it didn't stick."





	indefinite

"You're insane."

Nick didn't even look up from his laptop. "Yeah, and?"

"I can't believe you." Charley shook his head, rubbing his face irritably. "You just waltz in here like you own the place. I was in the middle of packing your shit up!"

"Why the hell would you do that?"

"I didn't think you were ever coming back, Nick!"

"Don't be stupid," the brunet replied, still clicking away on his keyboard. Charley slammed the lid shut, barely giving Nick enough time to remove his hands. The latter looked up, stunned. 

"You  _died_." Charley's voice was shaking. Nick narrowed his eyes. 

"Yeah, well, it didn't stick."

"Ugh!" Charley was ready to tear his own hair out. "You're insufferable! Do you have any idea what I went through because of you?"

"It couldn't have been that bad." Nick put his laptop aside. Charley clenched his fists. 

"Do you even  _care_?"

"Care about what?"

 _Me!_ Charley wanted to scream, but he swallowed it down. Nick seemed politely disinterested in pursuing the topic of his death any further, as he was now picking at his fingernails. 

"Honestly, Char, I told you I was going to be fine."

"They found your body," Charley choked out. "Detective Higgins came out with this look on his face, I'd never seen him so shaken in my life--"

"You trusted Higgins over me?" Nick raised an eyebrow. 

"--and he told me what happened, that you died a hero..."

"I didn't know you were so gullible, Char."

"I cried for  _hours_ , Nick. I didn't know what to do with myself. Every time I looked in the mirror, I felt disgusted. I hated myself for not stopping you--for letting you go. You have no clue how hard it was on me."

"Char, it was hard on me, too! I didn't want to leave you!"

"But you did!" Charley was barely holding in his tears. "And every night, I cried myself to sleep! Every night, I had nightmares imagining each terrible way you could have died! Until one day, I had had enough! I was sick of crying, I was sick of hating myself, I was sick of all of it, and I tried to kill myself!"

Nick stared. Charley felt like he could barely breathe. Rain pounded against the windows, against the roof, and thunder rolled in the distance. 

"I-I thought... I thought maybe then at least the pain would stop--everything would just  _stop_. But then I woke up in the hospital, Detective Higgins sitting by my side. I couldn't even get suicide right."

Charley laughed without humour, bitter and cold, and it made Nick flinch. 

Not that he would ever admit he was wrong. 

"I'm gonna go," Nick said quietly, standing up. "You take all the time you need to... do whatever, I guess."

"What?" Charley stared at the taller boy. "You're joking, right?"

"I--"

"You're just gonna fucking leave? After the shit we've been through? After what I just told you? Nick, I swear to every goddamn supernatural being I can name, if you walk out that door, I'll fucking kill you myself."

Nick clenched his jaw. "I think you made it pretty clear that you didn't want me around."

"I think you're full of shit!" Charley exclaimed, his London accent sharp and angry. "You think I'm better off without you after I just told you I tried to kill myself the first time?"

"I thought--"

"No, you didn't think, Nick! You never do! Unless of course it's in your own self-interest, then you're all for it. But no, just go ahead and leave your boyfriend in the dust a second fucking time!"

"Char--"

"I honestly don't even know why I put up with you sometimes, and sometimes I wonder why you put with me, but then I remember that I love you, for whatever goddamn reason, but now I don't even know if you feel that way about me! You can be so infuriating, so childish! And yeah, it gets tiring sometimes, but I would never want you out of my life  _again_ , Nicholas Xavier Montgomery."

Nick's eyes widened at his full name (which, in his opinion, was much too long). He wasn't used to having his walls down. He wasn't used to letting anyone in. He wasn't used to people knowing how he felt. At first, he'd scoffed at the idea of being involved with anybody, especially not romantically, that's why he did what he did for god's sake, but somehow Charley had wormed his way into Nick's life, and Nick found himself not caring. In fact, he found it quite enjoyable having Charley around. The thought of leaving Charley had eaten at Nick for months. And yet he'd gone and done it anyway. 

Charley took a deep breath and turned away, trying to stop his tears. 

"I'm sorry."

It came out so quiet, Charley barely even heard it. He turned round again to face Nick, and blue eyes met green. 

"I'm sorry," Nick repeated, a little above a whisper. Charley bit his lip as the dam broke, and Nick opened up his arms, and then they were hugging, and Charley was definitely crying, and Nick was too, and they just stayed like that for what felt like an eternity. 

They might not have been okay, but they were something, and that was enough. 


End file.
